In the countryside, Paddy is driving the van when he accidentally knocks over and kills a cow walking in the road. Tracing the cow to a nearby farm, the pair go off to find the farmer and claim expenses for the damage to the van. They come across what they assume is him: an odd, scruffy old man in a field, who instead of giving them compensation money sells them a breeder pig for £100. He claims they can sell it on at market for around £300. When Max and Paddy reach the cattle market, they discover the pig has seen better days and they've been conned. After several unsuccessful attempts to sell the pig on to butchers shops, a supermarket, and even a Halal outlet, Max and Paddy decide to kill it themselves to get rid of the burden. They have a change of heart though and head back to the farm to reclaim their £100. They soon discover that the old man who sold them the pig initially was actually the drunken father-in-law of the real farmer, and their money has probably all gone to the nearest pub. Also the farmer isn't very happy about the two killing one of his cows... Guest starring Graham Walker of The Grumbleweeds.
