Lyrics:
Hairy ears and hemorroidal tissues
Were not there on graduation day
Just "Congratulations" and a lot of "I'll miss you"
Then they sent me on my way
My metabolism slowed down
I gained a little weight
My shirts rode up
And my pants crept down
Now I'm serving a big plate of
There's such a thing as too much information
And this is one such circumstance
When a flock of parents bend down to get their children
It's a migration of pants
It makes me want to howl
Enough to void the bowel
It's taunting me
Like a trail of TP
That seems to have gone afoul of
[Chorus]
So if you see 'em scrubbin' floors or fixin' decks
Or peaking under hoods, try not to freak
Just try to picture it as the top of a heart
Or two lovers dancing cheek-to-cheek
Put yourself in their position
Cut them a little slack
Just count to two
'Cause it could be you
Oh please don't turn your back on
