Max and Paddy's Road to Nowhere | Ep4The pair are now in prison together after the school bus incident. Paddy is forced to share a cell with a tennis-playing Cliff Richard impersonator who actually believes he is Cliff. After an uncomfortable first night, Paddy admits his fear of being 'bummed' (see sodomy) in the shower room by Raymond the Bastard (played by Everal Walsh). Max convinces him the best thing to do is make the other prisoners believe they are not just two silly doormen, but genuine big-league gangsters called 'The Phoenix Twins'. After an altercation with a camp inmate called Pepe, Max and Paddy are soon confronted by the main man of their wing, Raymond The Bastard, who is also Pepe's boyfriend. Raymond is the worse of Paddy's nightmares when Paddy drops the soap, and is eagerly commented about his manhood as "Stunning, like a young Burt Reynolds!". Raymond has heard about the pair's alleged big-money heists and robberies, and wants a cut of their money. Max agrees just to get Raymond off their backs and receive preferential treatment, including access to luxury chocolates and Sky+ .
Soon, their old Phoenix Club boss Brian Potter (played by Kay) unexpectedly comes to visit, along with a cake, announcing that he's organising several events to help speed up their release. They spurn him, not wanting a high profile campaign ruining their chances of release. Potter, as ever, fails to listen, and the whole wing later see him on the TV news talking about 'the doormen' Max and Paddy: thus showing up their tall stories as lies. The episode concludes with Tina, Max's ex-love, admitting to the authorities that Daniel is actually Max's son and he was acting under stress when he stole the bus. The pair are pardoned and get revenge on Brian Potter by informing the Home Office that he has biological weapons at his club. We find out in this episode that Max's full name is Maxwell Bygraves, a jokey reference to the veteran British entertainer Max Bygraves.
