Shock Was a Strange Thing For Me I arrived at the house and the girl’s mother, Bev, and I were holding each other. We were shaking, we were crying, and their bodies were being brought down out of the house. So we knew it was true. That’s when shock started. I think that was the beginning of shock. And shock was a strange thing for me – it really was. I was like a zombie a lot of the time. I was unable to think Clearly I was unable to think. I never even went back into my office in the City and I had a partnership in the City. I never went back there. I couldn’t face it. It wasn’t a decision, I couldn’t think about it. A Zombie Like State You know the zombie like state I’m talking about is like shell shock which you may have seen in some war films where someone who is shell shocked is as though they are frozen. They don’t know where the friendly forces are, they don’t know where their mates are, they don’t know who their mates are even. They don’t know where the enemy is, they don’t know where their pit is. In fact they’re a bit of a nuisance. Someone has to go out and take them by the hand and bring them back in and that can be dangerous. That kind of shock, just like a zombie. Thoughts Would Consume Me Until They Were Part of Me And then I’d come out of being like a zombie and I’d think hatred thoughts and anger thoughts and revenge thoughts. And this would consume me and then I’d go back into being a zombie again. You going to take the kids out today? Kids? What? What kids? Where? Out? Couldn’t think. And then, hatred, anger and revenge until the hatred, anger and revenge were such a part of me that they were habits within me. By Sandy MacGregor – http://www.selfimprovementdeals.com See it on Video – 10 of 16 Hatred Anger and Revenge Can Become Habits During Grief Next Video – 11 One Thing That Helps During Grief - Keep Talking
