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Top 'O The Mornin' to you Bachelors! It's that time of year for good luck and four-leaf clovers, and little red-headed child/men to run amok and grant St. Patrick's Day wishes! And it looks like all my wishes have come true!! (Well, maybe not all of them, I'm still terribly lacking in the womb region. You can hear the ocean in there if you tip me right! LOL!!!!!!) That's right! I'm MARRIED NOW!!!!!! (Pause for thunderous applause!) Oh Bachelors, I found my pot of gold at the end of the rainbow! This might be it for us, as I need to devote all my energy to being the best wife I can be. Don't fret, you'll always be my first! Or you would've been if you would've called me! Guess you don't know what you've got til it's gone, (like Janet Jackson said)! Gotta go! Wifely duties await! EEEEEEEE!!! Big Shamrock Kisses! Piper

Hey there Bachelors! Trying to get trim in '09? I know I am! Here's my favorite way to work it out! Well...my second favorite way! Yeah! Pump It!

Happy Valentine's Day Bachelors! In between flossing the candy-coated depression from my teeth and guzzling another pink martini, I thought I would take a minute to read some of your delightful well-wishes for this utterly delightful holiday. DELIGHTFUL! Really...I'm not bitter, I LOVE V-Day! All the candy hearts and expensive meals, and drunken unprotected baby-making NOT happening in my bed...yep. Anywhoo, have a super sweet day...I'll just be hanging out...alone...waiting...for YOU! Big Kisses! xo Piper

Lookout Bachelors, Piper's back with her cure for what ails you!

Hello again bachelors! I've got a great way to help you shed those 2008 extra pounds! Wink Wink!! Don't worry, no one can hear you scream, so we can be as loud as we want! Kinky! xo Piper

Ho Ho Ho Bachelors! It's finally here! The time of year to celebrate your spiritual beliefs with meaningful reflection...and a big fat old guy in a red suit...and PRESENTS! I've got a gift for you that keeps on giving...my womb! Sorry, no gift receipts this year!! My turkey baster is hung by the chimney with care and my heart is ready to love you forever! Tons of Mistletoe Kisses- Piper

Deck my halls with boughs of BABIES!! FALALALALALALALA! Want more? Check out my new holiday episode next Tuesday! www.easybakelovin.com! Nothing will warm your heart more this season... well, maybe shock paddles. Happy Holidays!! Love- Piper

Piper tells you what's under her tree this year. Meow.

Piper has a delicious holiday surprise for you, you lucky duck!

Piper's back in the kitchen with another delicious Thanksgiving tip...the proper way to carve a turkey! Gobble Gobble! xo

Happy Thanksgiving Bachelors! As I sit and stuff my turkey this year, I have to reflect on the things I'm most thankful for...like YOU! And pre-natal vitamins (just in case!). So I'm making my Thankful for you Cranberry Sauce! It's perfect on turkey breasts...or whatever part of the bird you like most. I'll be saving a place for you at dinner this year...like I do every year. Please come...I hate eating an entire 20 lb. turkey alone. Gobble Gobble! xo Piper

You asked, she's listening...Piper answers a fan letter!

Hey all you sexy bachelor voters! Today's a very important day for all of us, that's why I'm urging you to VOTE...for me to be your new first lady! Why don't you head on over and help me punch my ballot??

Happy Halloween Bachelors! Who's ready for some hot pumpkin carving? I've got a big gourd with your face all over it! In honor of this spooky holiday, I'm making spooky caramel corn. My caramel corn and I have a lot in common; we're both sweet and we both wanna get stuck in your teeth! Wanna bob for apples? In my womb? Make me a mommy. Please.

Hello all you sexy Bachelor Politicos!! November 4th is rapidly approaching and I just wanted to let you know that I am there for you totally and completely and agree 100% that he should be our next president! We have so much in common! Now we just have to figure out our china pattern and we're ready for some baby-making! Don't you agree? I love us! Don't you?? Love me? Please?

Piper's back!

The very single Piper competes against her stuffed bear in an Iron Chef-like competition.

The Yoga Action Squad goes up against Dr. Bad Vibes and his overpaid bitchy assistant, Lethargo.