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Steel Hawk Inc. is offering a full refund to customers who bought thenon-flesh-shredding bullets.

Panelists dismiss the notion that something could go wrong with the 75-foot-tall crabs that shoot acid from their mouths.

Rep. David Whittle (D-VA) speaks passionately about how his son, who died in Iraq, would have loved to see this appropriations bill passed.

Congressman Eisley conducts hearing on Market Data Protection Reform, restrains self from murdering five year old son.

Rep. McCullough cannot even fathom the amount of contempt you'd have to hold for Congress, the American people to do something so inconsiderate.

Congo lawmakers are convinced the stimulus package will give Congolese the assault weapons they need to obtain clothes, food.

Congress is deadlocked on the best way to get a bat out of their committee chamber.

11 year old Thomas Demming visits Today NOW! with the magical friend he hid for weeks in his bedroom closet.

Online universities and bible colleges will be among the thousands of teams vying to prove they are the best in the nation.

Rep. Gregory White (D-NH) tearfully asks forgiveness for the degrading and sinful acts he is about to engage in.

Celebrity watchers attribute the exorbitant price to the incredibly low demand for any news about Jennifer Love Hewitt.

The U.S. is considering sanctions against the Eastern European nation if it does not reduce the number of unsolicited offers for Viagra and replica handbags it sends.

Despite eyebrows raised by his .850 batting average and Persian oil lamp he carries everywhere, 'Magic Lamp' emphatically denies ever using a genie.

Steam Room analysts debate whether the International Fencing Federation should rein in this rogue, or if De La Croix will narrowly escape yet again.

On Auto Warriors two Ford plants will battle it out, building to the LIVE season finale event: one plant will close, 3,000 will get the axe!

Panelists debate whether games like Fallout 3 and Gears Of War 2 are teaching children skills they'll really need in the End Times.

On Today Now, Peter Hedgemont shares the inspirational tale of how he has refused to let a cancer diagnosis convince him he has cancer.

Amivi Gama's violent rise to power has proved that women are just as capable as men when it comes to brutality and oppression.

Made by Pfizer, Despondex is the first drug designed to treat the symptoms of excessive perkiness.

Our Tech Trends reporter looks at the new gizmo Sony promises will revolutionize the way consumers become infuriated by goddamn blinking TV box things.

Our panelists debate whether TV programs like A Double Shot At Love and The Bad Girls Club depict unattainable levels of skankiness.

Tom Coughlin Retires From Family To Spend More Time With Team

Uganda's Ambassador is threatening to abolish the Committee on Conferences and author the draft calendar of conferences and meetings himself.

Americans say attending a 911 vigil or observing a moment of silence to only then come home to jerk off is disrespectful and wrong.

Adult readers say they are drawn to the 'Green Man' children's book series by the complexity of its characters ranging from yellow to blue.

Women Deserve Better says PETA abuses defenseless, simple-minded women by forcing them to remove their clothes and participate in humiliating publicity stunts.

Author Jerry Bloom visits Today Now to explain how you can make your kitchen floor shine without falling and paralyzing yourself for life.